community over competition
Have you seen that funny meme, “My friend got a tattoo that says ‘Comparison is the thief of joy’……I think I’m going to get the same tattoo, but bigger.” It cracks me up. But in all honesty, it’s so true. We’re horrible about comparing ourselves to others and trying to out-do, outsmart, be funnier, more successful…….where’s the finish line and what do we get when we’re finally there? Nothing. So we might as well be kind to one another along the way.
I’ve been extraordinarily fortunate with the people that are close to me. The group of girlfriends I have are all better than me in some facet. One is more bold and blunt, another more generous, and yet another, fucking hilarious. They’re all extremely smart and talented in their own rights and push me to be better in different ways. You should surround yourself with people that are more successful than yourself, or smarter or kinder, to push you to keep growing and keep morphing into your best self.
When I started out doing photography, I was so intimidated by fellow photographers who were more successful, more accomplished, BETTER than me. I didn’t want to ask questions for fear of sounding stupid. I just had (and still do, let’s be honest) crazy imposter syndrome. I’d scroll through instagram or facebook and get super down on myself for not being “like them” or having that skillset. It really sucked the life out of the thing I wanted to become better at.
So I took a leap and joined a local group of female photographers and met up with them. We chatted a bit, I eyed up their camera equipment (making sure my gear was up-to-par) and I made connections with a few of them. It was nerve wracking and out of my comfort zone, but I still did it. Then I started my online education. When I first started photography, I had NO idea that there was a thing or a genre of photography that was documentary based for families. I thought all of that was for photojournalists in war or showing protests or something. But to find that there was a group of people actually making money and photographing families as they are was amazing! The remarkable Kirsten Lewis was at the forefront of my initial education. I wildly consumed all of her videos and classes on Creative Live and saw her as a celebrity. Her website even says “Kirsten is the godmother of family photojournalism” and it’s true. She’s impeccable at what she does and not only that, she’s a remarkable teacher. Her passion wells out of her pores!
After viewing those Creative Live courses, I dug deeper and found different FB groups and websites that honed in on the genre I wanted to specialize in. There’s Documentary Family Photography which was started by the aforementioned, Kirsten Lewis as well as the babe of business, Ash Raddatz. Also Made for Documentary, This is Reportage, Fearless Family Photography and so on. Within these amazing groups, I learned more BUT, more importantly, I found amazing people to lean on.
I’m not good at posing people. I didn’t feel all warm and fuzzy and magical when I was pregnant with my boys and no offense to brides…..but I really don’t want to photograph weddings (I made wedding desserts for a few years and that was enough for me). You know what? That’s totally fine! Because I know amazing OTHER photographers that make you look radiant and glowing when you’re pregnant! They love working the ins and outs of the wedding day with you……and when it comes to wrapping babies in a basket? They have all of the colors and props for you to choose from. We don’t need to be competitive. We all have our own styles and ways of doing things. If you love to frolic in the field at golden hour? I have the girl for you! But if you’re having a baby and wanting to have that documented? I’m the one to go to.
I was lucky enough this last summer to actually STAY AT KIRSTEN LEWIS’S HOUSE for 5 days!!! It was truly amazing. It was incredible to not only immerse myself in learning for 5 full days, but I got to meet like-minded INCREDIBLE photographers as well (it didn’t hurt that one brought her amazingly adorable baby along with her doting father!). Kirsten’s activities had us thinking outside of the box and pushing ourselves, but what I took away the most in that week was the other stories of the women that were there. We were all struggling with the same things. We all had the same doubts, same fears. We came from all over the country (even the world….Diana!) and shared SO much.
Having your own business can be lonely and solitary. I keep learning and pushing myself to be better and knowing that I have some incredible women (and men!) who can relate and who I can vent to or bounce ideas off of, has been a wildly unpredictable outcome to this career path. I never thought I would have this village that is literally around the world! It’s pretty cool. And as long as we can keep the “competition” out of the factor and push more of the community, we’ll all keep growing and making ourselves better.
So! For ALL of your photography needs…..I recommend:
Boudoir: Desiray Rockweit Photography
Wrapped newborns (like baskets/headbands/wraps, etc): Heirloom and Honey by Cecily Mileski
Maternity and fun styled shoots: Block Photography LLC by Kristen Block
Weddings: Chelsea May Photography and Samantha Casper
Other recommendations: EJ Imagery, Erica Rae Photography and many more.
Family shoots of varying kind: all of the wonderful women above.
And that’s just local!
If you need recommendations for a family photographer anywhere in the world, I guarantee I can hook you up!
