the system is rigged
I bought a new sweatshirt.
It’s from this fantastic organization called Birth Belongs To Women. Their goal and mission is “to challenge the maternal healthcare system that oppresses and refuses to acknowledge the benefits of home-birth, midwifery care, and the healing power of women having total authority over their births. We’re asking for joyful collaboration in the times that care needs to be elevated, rather than fear based coercion.” Pretty badass right?
What I was mainly drawn to was this statement on their doula program mentoring page “Birth work is not a place for hustling or girl bossing, birth work is a part of walking in alignment with your feminine connection, serving women, caring for women, guiding women, in the birth space.”
That is exactly what I feel when I am honored enough to be asked and allowed into a birth space. It’s not about the money, the hustle, the competition. It’s about serving my clients to the best of my ability and showing them how amazing they are!
My one caveat with this sweatshirt is that it says: Birth Belongs to Women. I know that sounds strange to have a “caveat” with the word Women, but my main goal is to serve everyone and anyone able to give birth. My whole message is to be inclusive. To just capture love and life, whatever that looks like to you. So when I see Birth Belongs to Women, I think, “well shit, I’m excluding people.” If you were born a woman, but identify as a man and then have the amazing power to give birth to your child, I feel like that’s excluding you. If you are a gay couple who has chosen a surrogate, birth belongs to you just as much as it belongs to your gestational carrier, right?
So then I was thinking more. What’s the percentage of the LGBTQ community that I would be excluding by wearing this sweatshirt? Guess what? There’s no data on that in the United States because the hospitals mark everyone down as “female” when they’re giving birth. In Australia, however, they document both sex AND gender on their charts and in 2014, 54 transgender men gave birth. That doesn’t include the men who choose to give birth at home though. So we don’t know, but still, it’s something I want to acknowledge when wearing this sweatshirt.
And yes…..all of this thought process came from buying a sweatshirt. This is how my brain works, people!!!
Now, when it comes to “With Women, not the System.” That’s a whole different interwoven entanglement of fuckery!
For one, I know that the sweatshirt and its’ company is talking about “the system” regarding giving birth. How fear mongering and un-needed interventions and lack of education when it comes to the physiology of birth push us in directions we don’t choose. How a breech baby does not automatically mean a c-section. All are about “with women” and trusting them. But what about BEFORE birth?
Pregnancy discrimination is a thing. Companies can’t legally do it…but we know they do. We know that if we walk into a job interview with a round belly, that will sway the decision. We know that pregnancy, as seen in some insurance policies, is a “temporary disability” even though pregnancy isn’t a disability. Then we also have to think about what happens if we actually get that job from the interview? Will we keep our job after the baby is born? Will we have the ability to get promoted? Will there be bias towards other employees when our “leave” is over?
Women have been the main caregivers for as long as men have been the ones to go off to work. But here’s the thing…..women are going off to work too now. Women are making “almost” as much as men (there’s still a 20 cent wage gap), we’re holding higher positions and commanding more respect. And yet here we are, in 2024, losing rights. Hell, soon an embryo may hold more rights than women.
“Sarah, this blog has taken a turn…..what’s your point?”
I know it’s taken a turn and honestly, I don’t know the point. I’m just angry. I’m angry that we live in a society where black women have a maternal mortality rate 3 times higher than white women because of racism, because they’re seen as “difficult and mad.” I’m angry because a beautiful Oklahoma teenager decided to end their life due to constant bullying and their fucking Senator referred to them as “filth.” I’m angry because the LGBTQ population consists of just over 7% of our nation, and yet they get shit on the most. I’m angry that women are having to choose between their own health or being thrown in jail over getting an abortion. I’m angry that doctors have to work to a “turn-em and burn-em” type of routine to keep their numbers up so they keep their jobs and get the salary they need.
I’m just angry….and tired.
So to quote Gloria in Barbie, “always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.”
I will acknowledge that the system is rigged, while wearing my sweatshirt reminding women that I am with them, and not the system. And that birth belongs to all birthing people.
With all of this bullshit going on, I’ve adapted (only slightly, honestly…she nailed it for her business) a “Sliding Scale” form of pricing from an amazing photographer, Heather Whitten (you should all check her out…she’s astounding!)
Some of her points that I loved from this form of pricing are that it takes into account discrimination, financial hardships, etc.
I want anyone and everyone who wants their birth photographed to have that ability and not to worry about the money part too much.
Privilege-Based Sliding Scale
I understand that having photos taken is a luxury item. I know not all birthing people can justify this cost, especially with a new family member arriving. So I am trying to work out another model. The sliding scale pricing system is one way of acknowledging our differences. Differences in wealth, income, costs, and privilege and actively addressing the economic contrasts in our communities and society. The sliding scale is a way to allow everyone to have what they want when it comes to photography and provide that support for all.
Consider Paying Less If You:
• are a person who experiences racism directed at you, or via systemic oppression
• are a black, brown, indigenous, or otherwise non-white person
• are transgender and experience trans related discrimination and/or violence regularly
• are gay/queer and experience related discrimination and/or violence regularly
• have medical expenses not covered by insurance
• have been denied work
• are eligible for public assistance
• are an unpaid community organizer
• are supporting children or have other dependents
Consider Paying More If You:
• own the home you live in
• have investments, retirement accounts, or inherited money
• travel recreationally
• have access to family money and resources in times of need
• work part time by choice
• have a relatively high degree of earning power due to level of education, gender privilege, racial privilege, class background, etc.
For more information on how this could work for you, please email me at sarah@sarahwimmersteffen.com
