I’m scared

No, I’m not scared because it’s Halloween. I love scary movies (however I may hide my eyes or plug my ears at times). I like the quick adrenaline rush that comes with jump scares. I love it even more when I know they’re coming and the kids don’t! My sister and I…..at too young of ages……loved Nightmare on Elm Street, Poltergeist, Gremlins…..all the classics that don’t really hold up well these days with the addition of CGI and green screens. But still it was fun.

What I am scared about is what happens after Halloween. More specifically, 5 days after Halloween. Election day. Even writing this, my stomach is turning with nervousness. I have dreams about things going against the way I voted……actually nightmares, that haunt me for days. I had taken a couple weeks off from saturating my ears with all of the podcasts and news sources and late night comedians talking about the election. Everyone recapping “what happened yesterday” “what was said at what rally” Project 2025. My nerves needed a break. But this week…..this week I dove back in. While discussing what podcasts I had listened to that day with my husband, I had said that I almost wish there was a way to show people what could happen if Trump wins, to say “SEE!”. Not in a “told you so” kind of way, but in a “you thought he was kidding, or speaking in hyperbole, but he was telling the truth the whole time” kind-of-way. Like is there some way we could conduct an alternate universe and show what could happen but then bring it back to the “now” and make sure we do things right? Jon immediately came up with the perfect visual: “Like in Back to the Future 2, when old Biff goes back in time and gives the sports almanac to his younger self and then Hill Valley goes to shit.”

Yes, Jon……exactly like that.  I can even hear Trump saying something like “Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here.”

I know talking about politics isn’t fun and we’re all sick of it, but when people say that this is the most important election of our lives……they aren’t lying. There is a lot at stake.

In listening to republicans and those that support Trump, I’ve heard a lot about “things were better during his presidency” and “if he was that bad, how come things didn’t up in shambles before?”

To discuss that, I heard an astounding podcast by Ezra Klein, that I will be quoting (stealing) a lot from and I highly recommend all of you listen to it, or read the NY Post transcript here. Klein wrote this entire essay titled “What’s wrong with Donald Trump?” and at first when it came into my ears by accident via way of The Daily podcast ending and it going to Ezra’s podcast while I was cleaning and too lazy to switch it, I thought it was just going to be another message about his mental decline. But it went way deeper and more thorough than anything else I’ve heard as of late.

For one, Ezra talks about how when politicians are speaking and giving answers, they have their responses go through an internal software. When the software is amazing and fast, people like Pete Buttigieg (yes…I totally looked up how to spell it), Obama, etc, it makes them more likable, genuine, authentic. When the software is slow and lagging and you can actually “see” them struggling for words or formulating their thoughts in front of you, they seem dishonest. Ezra states: “What the software is actually doing is inhibiting them.  It’s running their words through a filter for things they should and shouldn’t say.  And when your words move markets and shoot missiles, you choose them carefully.” And no shit! We don’t want someone to just say “YOU’RE FIRED” and then push the red button (and yes, I understand it’s not that easy, but you get it)!

So what makes Trump so likable?

His lack of inhibitions.

He has no fear. No doubt. He says whatever is on his mind. He calls John McCain a coward for being caught. He calls out Bush for getting us into the Iraq war. Trump claims that he’s just saying what other people are thinking, but what’s really happening is he’s saying what many people want someone to be saying.   He’s saying what people are saying in private but dare not to say in public. And someone who does that, with no real issue with consequences is alluring and captivating. He’s enticing to watch. You start to think “what if I had no fear, what if I had no doubt about what I was saying……and if I can’t……how cool would it be to have a leader who is unafraid to tell the world like it is?”

The problem with a leader like that is, he doesn’t take correction or direction and that can be damaging.  Wisdom is the ability to learn from experience or from others.  But he doesn’t learn.  Trump once told a biographer, “When I look at myself in the 1st grade and I look at myself now, I’m basically the same, the temperament isn’t much different.” I don’t think I would brag about that. I have a second grader now, and I sure as hell hope that he matures and mentally grows a bit by the time he’s in his 60s and 70s.

So why were the consequences of his presidency not worse?  Why were things ok?  Because as the President, Trump was surrounded by inhibitors.  By people smarter than himself. By people who have been lifelong politicians with the adequate internal software. They pulled him away from the shoreline when he was getting too close to just jumping in. They placated his ideas with “not now, but next week” (“As White House chief of staff, Reince Priebus mused to associates that telling President Donald Trump no was usually not an effective strategy. Telling him ‘next week’ was often the better idea.”).

Directly quoting Ezra’s article, “in 2017 his deputy chief of staff Katie Walsh described working with President Trump as ‘trying to figure out what a child wants.’ Steve Bannon, Trump’s chief strategist, said — quote — ‘I’m sick of being a wet nurse for a 71-year-old.’ James Mattis, Trump’s first secretary of defense, and John Kelly, later his chief of staff, often described themselves like babysitters; they made a pact to never be overseas at the same time, lest Trump do something truly deranged.”

They made a pact. Much like when your parents had to divide and conquer. One stay home with the kids, while the other go grocery shopping. You can’t leave the kids up to their own devices, the house might burn down…….except, in John Kelly’s version…..our country might. Actually, California might have. When the wildfires were raging in 2018, he was pissed that he didn’t have enough supporters there, so he told FEMA to not give their services. Luckily that didn’t go through……because of his inhibitors blocking it.

Please read the article (or listen to it), I could plagiarize on and on but I’ll stop.

I’m lucky. I’m not “white-man” lucky….but I’m pretty damn lucky when it comes to the future in this election. I’m heterosexual so I don’t have to worry about the legitimacy of my marriage being taken away, nor do I have to be scared to hold my loved ones hand in public.

I’m aware of my white privilege and try my damnedest to help those around me.

But I am a woman.

Michelle Obama was right when she spoke the other night. “A vote for him is a vote against us………If we don’t get this election right, your wife, your daughter, your mother, we as women, will become collateral damage to your rage.” It’s gut-wrenching to think of my kids, my nieces and nephews, some a member of the LGBTQ+ community, facing struggles that my parents didn’t have to face. It’s crazy to think how this election could change education. How teachers will now face classroom censorship, federal funding changes for schools, and more.

As much as we want to laugh at Trump’s idiotic statements about babies being aborted in the 9th month, immigrants eating our pets, and children coming home a different gender after school…..we shouldn’t be laughing. What he does with those statements, is make abortions a “state” decision which leads birthing people in a crisis if they are in a state where abortion is banned and have to travel whilst in a medical emergency. It makes good doctors afraid to conduct life-saving procedures because they are afraid of being arrested. It causes schools in Springfield to shut down due to bomb threats from raging MAGA supporters who think that immigrants are actually eating our pets. It creates even more divisiveness in our country where, in 2024, we should be becoming more aware and accepting, but that’s farther from the truth than ever. The amazing people of the LGBTQ+ community who are finally finding their voices and strength to be who they truly are and aren’t ashamed or scared, have to continue to fight for their rights as humans. HUMANS. Gay, straight, fluid, transgender, black, white, asian, hispanic, indigenous, etc……..isn’t that what makes us the melting pot of the world? Isn’t that what actually makes America great?

There’s so much…..there’s so so much that scares me. There’s so much that angers me. There’s so much I DON’T understand about how people are STILL supporting someone who has stated multiple times that he wants to be a dictator?! I just can’t.

What I can do is tell you to vote. Your vote DOES count. If you’ve never voted, go now! You can go vote now, do it early! I mailed my absentee ballot in weeks ago. You can go stand in line now and go do it! Don’t let conspiracy theorists scare you into thinking that your vote won’t be counted.

It will, and it matters.

Let’s not make America like Hill Valley.

“I don't get it, Doc. I mean, how can all this be happening? It's like we're in Hell or something.”

“No, it's Hill Valley. Although I can't imagine Hell being much worse!”