Ode to coaches

It’s been awhile since my last blog post and this seemed like a good one to “get back at it.”

I was on the traveling HOOPS basketball team, starting in 5th grade until…..8th(?) maybe and I was in tennis. Those were my two sports. I did basketball camps during the summer as well as tennis lessons. I tried to complete the “Thousand Shot Club” over the summer, and was outside ALL the time shooting those hoops to try and get …..who knows…..a personal pan pizza from pizza hut? I don’t remember.

Sports for me, were mainly about socializing. I wasn’t hugely competitive. I have never needed to be the winner of anything. Even now, with running races with my husband, I know he’s going to beat me with his time, but it doesn’t bother me. When it came to basketball, as a team sport, I just wanted to have fun and make people laugh. In tennis, since I played mostly singles, I got a little more feisty, but if I lost…it wasn’t the end of the world.

I was lucky enough, for both sports, to have AMAZING coaches.

Coach Peterson, much like almost all of the coaches outside of a school-led team, was a teammate’s dad. He, along with two other dads, guided us through the crazy HOOPS traveling basketball season.

As a player, you looked up to your coaches. You saw them as an authority, but also someone you could laugh and joke with (if they were the good ones). They guide you in ways you don’t realize until you get older.

I wasn’t a good basketball player. I was mediocre at best. But on the HOOPS team, with Coach Peterson at the helm, I didn’t feel the need to be the “highest scoring player” out there. He knew I was working hard and he gave me the encouragement and guidance I needed at the time. It’s funny looking back at old photos. I can’t remember most of the games, the tournaments, the practices….I do remember doing ‘suicides’ on the basketball court and running the stadium stairs at Goerke and just about dying……but otherwise, to be cheesy, I just remember the feeling of inclusion and “just about dying” together on those steps with my teammates.

Coach Vollendorf (now the principal of our high school) was also an incredible coach. He was “lucky” enough to coach me in both tennis and Sophomore year of basketball. (damn, look at the forehead on that girl! lol)

The only coaching I’ve experienced has been from a player’s perspective. You get encouraged, possibly yelled at (in a good way….most of the time), pushed to your limits, and hopefully learn new skills. Since my two boys have inherited their parents’ mediocre athletic ability, we haven’t dealt with too many coaches from the parental perspective. With them being (just about) 11 and 8, they’ve dabbled in sports, but hadn’t found one they really clicked with.

So this year, Jonny went back to hockey (you can read about me not being a sports mom in the blog post Real Talk from October if you want). Jonny, my amazingly charismatic kiddo, who talks non-stop, has ALL the ideas, doesn’t always listen, never stops moving, and can easily be distracted (yes he has ADHD…lol) had a coach.

Now, let me tell you something…..Coach McKnight (Jeff), when he called me and said “Hey, I’m Jeff, I’ll be Jonny’s coach!”, I wholeheartedly thought Jonny was going to quit within the first month. I didn’t tell Jonny this, but I knew we could still get our money back by November 1st, and knowing my non-athletic boy, I figured he wouldn’t want the commitment. So I half-listened to what Jeff was saying on the phone and when we had a “parent meeting” at the rink, I only half cared. Our equally amazing team manager, Heather (Jeff’s wife), was guiding us on the service hours we would need to do (26 of them), fundraising money we needed to raise ($250) and hotels we needed to book for the future tournaments. All the while, I was thinking “yah….we won’t need to do any of that.” I kept to myself for the first couple of weeks during the practices, bringing a book or listening to a podcast. What’s the use in getting to know other parents if he’s going to quit anyway, right? Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t rude, I just didn’t put forth the effort.

Then….guess what? Jonny fucking liked it. He liked his team, he liked the practices and most importantly, he LOVED his coach……..DAMMIT! lol.

I was still on the fence that he would stick with it, but I decided to open up a bit. I made some friends, started bringing my camera to the games (because…..duh!….we NEED photos!!) and tried to lessen my disdain for this never-ending season.

And Jonny kept loving it. So we were in. We were in deep.

He would come home from practice telling random stories about how the coaches “did this” or “did that” and it was really funny. He would talk about how they pushed him and that practice was really hard. He’d say how he was making friends with his teammates. And all the while, I would hear from Heather, how much Jeff found Jonny amusing and how “that kid never stops talking!”. Accurate. But I never once heard one negative comment. I heard how Jonny was improving, how he was always in a good mood during practice, how he always danced on the ice when the songs played between plays and he rarely complained.

That was huge. In the past, this kid has complained about every single part of hockey. The clothing, the padding, the equipment, leaving to go to practice, being on the ice, coming off the ice, being sweaty, being wet, getting up early….EVERYTHING.

But not this year. This year my family experienced a team from the parent perspective. We were able to watch our son grow and improve. He made friends with his teammates, they suffered HARD losses together and celebrated their butts off as a team together. They tried beating the parents in a “kids vs parents” game….but came up short (teehee). Jameson made friends with the goalie’s brother and since then, has also started to enjoy hockey as a sport (next year will be a doozy of scheduling!) and Jon and I made a bunch of new friends (whether they like it or not!) who we are so grateful to have to lean on during the season.

Coach Jeff and Heather had numerous team-building activities throughout the year that kept this group of kids, parents and coaches, so strong and tight, that we were all incredibly sad to see the season come to an end. Myself included. As much as I bitched and complained and exclaimed “The Fuck you do?!?!” when Jonny wanted to go back to hockey…..it has been the best thing for our family. Jonny wants Jeff as his coach for all of eternity and I can see why.

Coaches make or break teams. They make or break the sport for your kid. If your coach has a bad attitude about the sport, your kid will. If your coach is uplifting, your kid will learn and grow better. I can’t tell you how much I loved listening to the coaches coach on the bench while I was manning the penalty box. To hear them say “hey, that was a great shift! You really skated super fast and kept pressure on the puck, now on this next shift I want to see you stay in this zone area but keep that pressure!” Or if a kid came off the ice upset, or disappointed in themselves, they never let them wallow and were always positive and encouraging. It was extremely heartwarming to see and hear how the coaches spoke to the kids and how the kids responded and got right back out there!

Jeff said the other day at the team’s final party “Well, I must have done something right, all the parents are still talking to each other!”

You did a lot right, Coach.

Cheers to next year.